A prescription for fulfillment

 Hello friends,

In January Dr. Vivek Murthy left his position as the U.S. Surgeon General. After two terms of serving as the nation’s doctor he left us with his Parting Prescription. Dr. Murthy traveled across America and talked to thousands of people about their lives and challenges. He saw the deep pain, unhappiness, and loneliness that he described as an epidemic. Luckily, in his heartfelt Parting Prescription he outlines the steps to cultivate health and fulfillment. Spoiler: relationships are part of the solution!

Dr. Murthy explains that culture in the U.S. has become increasingly individualistic and that the mark of a successful life for many is fame, wealth, and power, which he calls the Triad of Success. While these goals are not inherently bad, they skew us towards self-absorption, loneliness, and a host of other physical and mental challenges.

I don’t think we need the Surgeon General to explain loneliness or to report that Americans feel like something is missing from their lives. We know that because we experience it ourselves. What I appreciate is the validity and seriousness that comes with the Parting Prescription. Maybe you or someone you know feels they have no one to go to if they need help or are going through a hard time. Life is too hard to go through it alone and the research shows it taking a toll on our health.

In contrast to the Triad of Success is the Triad of Fulfillment, in which the pillars are service, purpose, and relationships. These three pillars are the foundation of community.

• How much of your time and energy is spent towards attaining fame, wealth or power?

• If the pillars of the Triad of Success don’t resonate with you, what are you striving for that pulls you toward self-absorption and individualism?

• Which components in the Triad of Fulfillment do you find strongest and weakest in your life?

• If you want to put more effort into being part of community, what stops you? Are there not enough hours in the day? Do you feel emotionally tapped out? Do you struggle with motivation and momentum to follow through?

While I find all the pillars of the Triad of Fulfillment are worth full deep dives, I want to highlight Dr Murthy’s words on relationships. “Healthy relationships, where we feel seen and where we can be ourselves, can be a powerful source of joy and support and can be buffers to stress… When we lack meaningful relationships, we can experience loneliness.5,15-17 Currently, around a third of adults and half of young people experience loneliness.18,19 Being socially disconnected increases our risk of heart disease, dementia, depression, anxiety, and premature death. 1,2,5-7,11,16,20”

What can you do to make others feel less alone? Author, professor, and podcast host Kate Bowler spoke with Dr. Murthy on her show Everything Happens. They talk about concrete things you can do to cultivate community, such as pick up the phone when someone calls even if it is to say, “I’ll call you back.”

I will end with Kate Bowler’s recap of the Parting Prescription: “Loneliness isn’t just a feeling—it shapes how we move through the world. It convinces us that connection is for other people. But love—the kind that actually sustains us—is built in small, daily acts of showing up. A text. A favor. A ridiculous dance break. Asking for help. Offering what we can. If you’ve felt stretched thin this month, you are not alone. Love is costly, and so is loneliness. But maybe, just maybe, we can be part of each other’s healing.”

As always, I’m here if you need anything.

With loving support,

Mallory

References
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