In contrast to the Triad of Success is the Triad of Fulfillment, in which the pillars are service, purpose, and relationships.

I hope this short introduction to the world of pelvic PT can serve as a tool for your toolbox, if you or someone you care about needs that support.

People are having the same argument or conversation without it leading to change and they feel stuck. They want to know how they can say things differently to get their point across, so that their partner will see their side and change their behavior.

At times our brains are a constant chatter. That internal voice can be calming, mean, worried, righteous, validating, etc. When we can’t turn our brains off the thought pattern tends to be repetitive and circular.

Heartbreak is the price we pay for love. To open our heart to give and receive love, we also open it up to rejection, loss, grief, betrayal, and longing.

There are many insidious unhelpful relationship tropes that have become norms in American culture. I was curious what myths my colleagues who work with couples, sex, and relationships would love to see debunked. Here’s what they said.

When we feel betrayed or abandoned by someone close to us, it can create an attachment injury/ wound.  When these wounds get rubbed, we often have big reactions that we didn’t see coming.

Attachments are the relational and emotional bonds between people. The bonds we formed with our caregivers when we were young, set the stage for how we connect in adult relationships, especially our intimate relationships.

I have been thinking about my overarching ideals/relationship goals. These apply to all kinds of relationships, friends, coworkers, parents, children, romantic, etc.

It’s helpful to know what messages we tell ourselves over and over again. Those stories become well worn paths and it can be hard for our brain to see anything else.

This letter is not about how to squeeze more time out of the day, it’s about how to keep your relational integrity even when you’re busy.

What can you do to honor a day of love and foster thriving relationships the other 364 days of the year?

If in the end you have a fun, pleasurable, connecting, consensual, sexy time with yourself or a partner, then who freakin cares how you got there?

Desire discrepancy is when one person experiences more or less sexual desire than their partner. This is inevitable in a long-term relationship. Even though it is common and normal, it can be distressing and a cause of disconnection in a partnership.

Hard times have the capacity to cement or sever friendships, partnerships, and family ties more drastically than good times.

We assume these roles unconsciously, in a need to be approved or be right. Staying in these dysfunctional roles prevents us from taking responsibility and doing the harder work to step out of codependency.

Friends can be our chosen family. When life feels lonely and scary, I hope you have a friend who is safe, fun, and great listeners. Sometimes family and community are not safe to be your authentic self.

Where do you feel balanced and unbalanced in your relationships? Shifting the balance takes a strong sense of differentiation. Differentiation has three components.

Imagine it’s Saturday morning and your partner says “I am going to the grocery store, what would you like?”