Is Pleasure Selfish?
I was excited and ready to write about pleasure for this month’s newsletter. Then there was a horrific earthquake killing tens of thousands of people in Syria and Turkey. Listening to the news and knowing there is so much suffering going on, made me feel that writing about pleasure was thoughtless and misguided.
I sat with this struggle and remembered that the act of seeking pleasure is an act of seeking aliveness. Finding pleasure in food, touch, sounds, and smells is an intentional way of creating and observing the beauty and wonder of what’s happening. Our survivalist brain will make sure we know about the scary and negative things around us. We need to be more intentional to make sure our brain is focusing on the good, beauty, and wonder that is in front of us.
It takes imagination and creativity to experience pleasure. It can be a powerful mindset that brings you into control of your satisfaction and unlocks the playfulness that adults too often lose.
Where to start:
Start paying attention to the sensations that you enjoy. Ex. Putting lotion on or eating something delicious
Slow down
Savor that thing. Give it your full attention.
Recently, I was out with friends and deep in conversation. The song, “It’s All Right” by The Impressions came on and I found myself completely tuned into the song and checked out of what was around me. This song was able to bring me out of my head and into my body. That’s pleasure.
Exciting Announcement!! The incredible intimacy coach Mary Campbell from Divining Beauty will be leading a 90-minute virtual talk for women and non-binary folks on creating a culture of pleasure. If you have thought, “Is this it?” or “I am not enough” then this talk is for you. It will be Sunday March 19th at 4pm Pacific/ 7pm Eastern. More details to come.
With loving support,
Mallory